Week Three: The Mouse in the Maze

8/6/14

Homework this week:

• Mindful Movement meditation (track 3) followed by Breath and Body meditation (track 4) in the evenings, plus Yoga and sitting meditation mornings
• Three-minute Breathing Space meditation (track 8) twice a day
• Habit Releaser: valuing the TV (choose only programme intending to watch and then shut off) 

Carried over from last week:

• mindfulness of daily activity: walking up and down stairs
• Ten gratitudes
• be mindful of body sensations, thoughts, feelings

Thoughts from book:

• pulling donkeys may not be as effective as waiting for them to want to move
• I want to open creative pathways, not get stuck in aversion pathways
• 
  

Day One

Mindful movement is interesting -- because I do yoga regularly I find it odd to try to tune into my body in this way, but I think by combining it with my normal yoga practice and trying to make THAT more mindful, I might really get somewhere. Breath and Body fairly standard -- tonight preoccupied with a bit of exciting news from work, but otherwise pretty calm and fairly focused. Three minute breathing space -- tried it straight after B&B and got distracted in the 'focus' section .... as if I resist too much focus! I think paying attention to my breathing more through the day might be really useful.

Ten Gratitudes: working printers, husbands that make printers work, electronic books, sunshine, children who smile, soft grass, thunderstorms, mother-in-laws, early nights, the smell of incense.
 

Day Two

Was tired both morning and evening but did both sets of stretching/meditation.  Find it hard to really enjoy the time even though benefits are very clear.  Forgot three minute breathing space though could have really used it at one point. 

Ten Gs: dishwashers, brother, aluminium, ice lollies, sunny weather,  shrek show, music, piano,  puzzles, hair. 

Day Three 

Very moody, sad, depressed.  No stretching or meditation. 

Day Four 

Yesterday was odd. Can't quite process. Might be going through some sort of maturing process. Feels like I'm leaving my impulsive, emotion-centred, egocentric self and realising how shallow and selfish she is. I bite my tongue more, I indulge others while thinking other thoughts, and don't give my feelings as much weight. This leads to mourning my lost self. I feel like I don't know who I am. I am reinventing myself. First I was angry,  now sad. I am hoping acceptance and moving on come next. 

Did short yoga and meditation this morning.  Tracks 3&4 tonight. Calmed due to taking a nap as well. 

Some of this I am just powering through even though I don't feel like doing it. 

Ten G's: Sarah, Mark, Alex, understanding husband, strawberries, new sheets, cats, dresses on little girls, chat technology, naps. 

Day 5 

Did meditation morning (though short) and evening.  Starting to feel more clarity. 

Day 6 

What a day! Several mini crises. Got me all stirred up and thought about three minite breathing space - applied in about one minute but it did help. getting a payoff in how I deal with hard situations. A watershed evening at work. 

Ten Gs: good workers, flexible minds, people who smile, yogurt, blueberries, girls who are respectful, husband who needs love, bicycles,  bed, incense. 

Day Seven 

No meditation - poor mindfulness generally and worked v late into night. 

Generally feel I need more time to establish the things going on in this week's part of the programme but pressing on. An unsettled week but accepting this as part of the journey.