Read this chapter quickly and it seems to bring me right back where I started - knowing the aims of my mindfulness practice are rooted in better relationships with husband and kids, more efficient work, reducing stress, anxiety and emotional volatility, and enhancing awareness, joy and focus.
Pleased to see no prescription for going forward. Will try my week as planned of Sounds and Thoughts plus Befriending and then move on to my own formula after that. Will report back when appropriate!
Small side note -- I was glad to read about stopping to enjoy completeness. I crave this and will do it well. :)
28/8/14
Had a brilliant revelation tonight.
Today on the beach the cousins and husband constructed a barrier against the incoming tide - a hole in which one could stand and watch the surf surround you but not touch you. They built it up high on all sides, but once the sea reached it, it took only a couple of minutes for the whole structure to be compromised by the relentless rush of water.
While meditating it struck me -- nearly every problem I face is like that fortress and the incoming tide. I can spend time trying to solve the problem by building my defence higher, or I can accept the situation and trust that, although uncomfortable, the tide of time will solve it. For example - husband is in a weird mood and very defensive and argumentative. I can either complain bitterly at how harshly he treats me and 'push back' with my own negativity justified by his poor communication pattern, or I can ensure I communicate well and wait for him to sort his own shit out.
Feel this rounds off my experience of Penman's book beautifully. I am taking great pride and sense of accomplishment in having completed the course with a plan for further 'being'.
Hats off --- here I go on a less guided experiment.
1/9/14
Sounds and Thoughts plus Befriending working well enough, but I crave moving on to a less guided meditation, so going to work on
-- 5 mins looking at my weather pattern,
-- 5 mins breath awareness and linking into body sensations,
-- 5 mins focus on practising compassion to myself.
10/9/14
The pattern above is working, but I want to flesh it out further. I think there is a decision point when I reach the first stage -- what do I find in my body and mind in the first 5 mins? Then there is an opportunity to choose what happens next... work with a difficulty, etc. I think I'll try this now:
-- 5 mins looking at my weather pattern, choosing what to work with (sounds, difficulty, body awareness)
-- 5 mins breath awareness to prepare and 'clear the decks',
-- 5 mins focus on either body scan, sounds and thoughts, working with difficulty
-- 5 (or more) mins loving kindness for myself and others.
I'm also keen to print off some of my insights from week 7 and have those more to hand.
I have also been continuing working on Covey's Seven Habits, and have become very interested in the Personality ethic vs. Character ethic. I have ordered Benjamin Franklin's autobiography as I think it is a great way to reconnect with my heritage while at the same time think more about character and what I want to cultivate in myself and in my kids. I'm considering having a 'value for the month' focus, and I think I'll put these on a separate blog. Each should provide me with some 'food' for meditation and focus for improving myself, which I seem to need badly at present!
It's been very useful to take some time to reflect on how I want to move forward and how I want to structure my meditation time. Hoping this takes off and I can make it a very clear and disciplined journey.
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